My dog

I'm so sad about my dog.  It's weird.  I'm not even sure what exactly I'm sad about, but she was gone for two days to stay at the vets and visit with my brother and now she's back, but we can't go on any walks until she's recovered. 

And it may just be me, but I think some changes went on with her and me while she was gone and now things are all weird. 

I have to remember that she's a dog and I'm a human.  We are different.  And she feels better when she is treated like a dog. 

Notes on Topix of Interest

Listening to Young the Giant, I Got.  Do we italicize names of songs?  

In German they capitalize all nouns.  I feel like doing that time and again.  Grammar Rebel.  

Ecommerce/Retail

Now people don't even have to leave their home.  They can buy everything online.  They can order groceries, materials, products online.  All it takes is a box and a package handler/driver.  

What does this mean for people?  We are gradually growing into a society that is nonsocial.  We may not hate our neighbor, but we don't want to see him.  

Technology

I hate technology.  It's messy.  Seriously, when I think of technology, I think of wires.  Thousands of messy wires.  But I love the joy they can bring.  Music, Internet.  Really I think the good memories that I have with my family and friends are the best connections I have with technology.  I also think of gadgets.  Who really needs a gadget.  No one.  That's who.  

PC Gaming Hardware

I used to play NES with the friends at school and nothing will beat the original.  I really should buy a set before they get to be rare collectors items because they are the best and really the only PC hardware that I'd like to buy.  I kind of wanted to get a headset but that wasn't for gaming.  It was really for a phone job.  

VoIP, SIP Trunking, Unified Communications

I don't really get VoIP.  Changing phone calls into the internet?  Don't we have skype?  I don't see the awesomeness of this.  The definition that I looked up said that it bypassed the phone company, but that sounds slightly illegal. SIP Trunking.  I retarded at computer!  That's all I can say about that.  

Technical Topics

I physic-ed in high school, but majored in English in high school.  I made an A in that class, but I didn't take AP.  It's not really a second nature to me.  Too right brained.  I know "Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosy." But that's it.  I don't know how cars or computers work and I don't want to.  Ok, I'm lying a little, but that's more a general wish that I was good at something.  I'm jealous of my brother's and sister-in-law's extensive computer knowledge and expertise.  

Nutrition & Health

I think we should all eat lentils.  They are delicious and nutritious.  I made a huge pot and they don't have any of those negative things, like oils, sugars, meats, or hydrogenated oils.  Next I'm going to make some spaghetti with some veggies we have around the house.  Totally free of those nasty things, and completely natural.  I'm all about eating creatively and healthily.  

Entrepreneur-Focused Web Design

I think everyone in the world needs a website.  That's why Facebook is so great.  Free advertising of all the greatness of people.  If you are an entrepreneur, you should definitely get a facebook page to start yourself off.  People love "liking" things, they love being connected easily.  Best of all it's free.  

Messiness and Writing

I used to be such a neat girl.  Now I am so messy.  I drink and spill liquid from the corners of my mouth onto my shirt.  What happened to that little perfectionist?  Life, I guess.  I spill oatmeal, coffee, anything on the counters.  Mess is best.  Even at my job, I seem to make a mess of the vegetables in the bane at Subway.  I don't like myself when I do, in fact I hate myself.  But I can't seem to control the details. So I just keep on being messy.

My mom has all these mason jars we use as drinking glasses.  Ball is printed in cursive on the front and it also advertises a "WIDE MOUTH."  on the back, raised in glass is a fruit medley.  I really think most people would enjoy using mason jars as glasses, because they are authentic and rustic.  My mom thinks they don't have a weird taste like plastic cups do.  I haven't noticed a difference in taste, but as far as uniqueness, I would say, yes, go for a mason jar.

I'm really bummed because I look on these job boards and they seem to have these jobs where they expect you to have written something in your life. And I've written essays for school and a bunch of Search Engine Optimization articles.  I don't really feel sound enough in soul, or am enough of a peaceful, reflective lake to write.  I have all these ripples and eddies, and there's these swords popping out at adventurers.  It's a mess.  The Lady in the Lake doth be Distress.  

Getting on these board ads, I read them and then immediately panic.  Warning sirens go off.  I don't know how to write, I don't know how to write, I don't know how to write, starts a chant in my head. 
Panic, big time.  I look around for my grounding tools, 5 things I see, 4 things to hear, 3 things to feel, 2 things to smell and 1 thing you taste.  But I all can see is the giddy computer screen, all I can hear is the chant, and I feel horrible, I can't smell a thing and then there is the bitter taste of defeat.  

Ok, I am exaggerating.  

But I do panic. Like a pinned insect, I squirm against the wall pushing me towards writing and the tiny pin line of me that thinks I can't do it.  

What's the solution?  Build confidence.  What does confidence mean?  The firm belief that you can rely on something.  If you do then you will believe.  Doing ushers in belief.  So what do you do.  You write.  Here I am, writing.  So to make it even more simple, create a daily habit of writing the types of writing that you are looking to write for others.    

Not being just writing itself, but other subjects and tone of writing is what I aim to practice.How do you change your style of writing?  So definitely blog personal matters, but also read and expand your universe with unique and diverse types of writing.  Try to write with another's voice.  It's not so hard. Speak with a different tongue.  

I don't even know what to write

Sometimes I'm just dry in experiences.  I like to think of it as full of potential.  Instead of forcing myself to go out and experience things, I'll just dream about them.  Maybe they will be better that way. Kind of put myself in a neutral posinto.

I'm up at 4 am and I couldn't sleep tonight.  The bed is like a hammock now, it's so well worn.

 For some reason, I'm doing all the usual things without the usual rewards.  I guess now with a new job, I have to make new patterns within the boundaries of old patterns.  Dishes, preparing foods, helping others.  These are all old things that I have to recycle to fit a new pattern.

So instead of getting depressed or even if I am depressed, I just need to keep getting out there and enjoying the fresh air on my walk to work.  If I could move out I would love to be in a new situation and with new, coZier surroundings, to fit my new lifestyle.  It's just practical.

I've really been going through a tough time with my dog baby.  She is having trouble adjusting to the new schedule and won't leave the door unscratched as I leave for work.  I don't know much about dog boredom, but she is really lonely, I think when I leave for work.  Maybe I could get another person in here to babysit her while I'm gone!  I think she needs the social interaction just as much as a human..  I don't want her to get depressed!

I think that she's the prettiest thing and her coat is so shiny and glossy, like a silver seal.  We have to take care of that coat.  She needs a lot of  attention.

I really think she misses by brother, because he was such a calming presence.  He could manly her in a couple of seconds and she would submit like a pup..  As Ceaser would say, "He has calm, assertive energy."

 I'm glad I have my dog, but I'm realiZing that she is not the only precious creature in my life.  There are other people, too.

Having weird dreams

I had these weird dreams that I was in a cafeteria.  I often have dreams where I'm working at Chuck E. Cheese, but things are different.  I sort a dreamed about a board room, talking to some businessmen taking a class or seminar, we went into Chuck E. Cheese.  And there were kids, and I think my dog was almost in my dream.  The dreams are really vague and not specific.

Oh, I suddenly remembered.  I was farming with my sister.  We had committed to taking this load of wheat or something to the suppliers.  I kept trying to drive unsuccessfully.  Then I was reaping the wheat with a tractor, but it was in my friend's parent's living room.  And after we did this for her parents, we were going visit my parents and do something for them.  Weird dream.

I'm actually up this morning!  Struggled with it though.  Nothing's perfect.  If it was, I'd probably be disappointed.  Enough for me to have morning revival, do stretches, check out my relaxation binder, and make some calls.

My back and neck are so weird, they are relaxed, but tense.  I'm not sure how to describe it.  Maybe my back is relaxed and the rest of my body is tense.

I should have majored in Advertising.  I have a huge and uncontrollable urge to communicate things. "Huge!"

Well, I have to go get ready for work.  I feel so grateful that I have a job.

So challenged.

I've been really challenged, lately.  

Arlington,TX officially has a bus line.  I thought that the MAX was going to go the way of the dinosaur, but common sense prevailed.  

There's this junk mail that keeps getting through my spam filter.  Resource Depot.  I don't unappreciate their attentive emails that seem so helpful, but really are not what I need right now.

Medium is kinda my favorite now.  I really like their style.  Serious but casual.  Comedic, yet intense.