Second Day of Class

Bored. Sitting out in front of class before class.  I'm wearing a green shirt that I bought for working at the daycare, plain green with a white undershirt.  My Six Flags watch that I bought at Target, and grey jeans that are kind of baggy and faded.  I'm wearing a purple headband and my hair is frizzy at the front and pulled back in the back. 

Tried to get "free" textbooks at the UTA bookstore today.  They were offering 30 day free wait before paying, but the store that was offering the deal was at the college bookstore not the UTA bookstore.  Bummer, but I have my fail for the day. 

The bookstore is brand spanking new.  It's bottom floor consists of apparel and electronics apparently. And the top level is, of course, textbooks. 

I'm pumped about my class.  Happy and pumped.  I'm a cheery, cherry, merry sort. 

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It was a good class.  I felt I learned something about my self, if not about minerals.  Geology, Meterology, and Occeanography, a teaching class. 

I'm worried about this class though, like I'm worried about all my classes.  I feel like I am on the edge of breaking down.  Just shutting down completely.  It's complicated. 

I find that I've got a lot of people that I can depend on to help me out.  For example, I still am reminded of my friends who bail me out of a lot of situations.  Sometimes I don't know if it's to save me or save themselves.  Maybe that's my selfish brain thinking. 

On the positive side, the University of Texas at Arlington is the friendliest campus that I have been on.  The majority of students are nursing students.  I had thought that there would be more business majors, but no, they are only a small percentage. 

I am slowly and quietly farting.  This is supremely embarrassing.  I have a stomach ache.  Very uncomfortable, after eating spicy shrimp Ramen from the Market that doesn't have plastic forks and spoons.  I had to go wait in this long, long line at the food court, waiting for the microwave. 

I want to make friends. I am afraid of the situation.  Whatever that means.  I look at people, like the three people who are sitting at this comfortable couch cozy with me, two of them Middle Eastern, comfortably chatting, and the fierce black girl with the long hair who is furiously studying into her laptop, and I think, what would induce me to talk to them? 

Maybe if they were depressed and deaf like my mom. I easily talk to my mom.  Even if I am uncomfortable I have the faith that what I'm saying is important for her to hear and I can make a diffrerence. 

OMG.  There was a black guy wearing headphones behind a pillar, in our couch circle that I didn't even see.  People on headphones don't want to talk to people.  I suppose I could organize my homework.  Probably should get on that.  I wonder if there's a bathroom around here.  Two other black girls just showed up, friends of the black girl, sporting Carl's Jr. chicken.  Looks delicious. 

I'm so hungry, but all I have is a cookie and I'm waiting for before my night class to eat it. 

I keep thinking about my babies and how they are growing, Maximus, Anthony, Daniel and Genevive and how they are progressing.  I wonder if Maximus is walking yet; has Anthony stopped biting?  Daniel had his own groove and Genevive...she was just a little pupae. I really imprinted on those kids. 

Another Indian girl showed up and started talking to the first.  Then all the Indian people leave.  I wonder what they were talking about.  Now is not the time to wonder. 

Smiling and laughing seems a big deal in having a conversation. 

I only become animated around my mom, because I think I know how she works. 

I'm going to find a restroom. 

Well, I'm pooped, literally and exhausted-wise from going up 5 flights of stairs.

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I found a couch on the 4rth floor.  It is blue and cushy. 

I've looked up my syllabi and these classes are extra hard. Quizzes, homework, Readings, Exams, Writing Exams, Essays.  At once, I'm excited and challenged.  I want to download a planner, but do I really want to waste extra time inputting these assignments?  Is it worth it?  It won't help me do a better job on them.  I think I'm just going to print and highlight.  To do, done, etc.   No extra micro planning, either.  What a waste of time. 

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Not a complete waste of time.  I have written a schedule that I can write into: Fill in the blanks.  Very useful.