Update #2

Megan is fighting internally about whether having a writing business is worth it or not.

Struggling with seeing "the kids" and dad together for the first time in about a year or two.

Worried that her interest in her school work may be fading. That she won't make it.

Washing dishes, brushing her teeth, and making her bed daily.

Has been trying this new Candy Cane body lotion. It smells terrible, she doesn't suggest it.

Has got a buttload of instructions how she's supposed to act in Thailand, but doubts that they will stick. "She bows."

Wonders what a buttload is and thinks it's different for everyone.

I need you guys opinion on something. I have another blog...which I don't update as frequently as this one. It's a knitting blog and right now it's called Knitting Kniaisarie, "niasirarie" meaning foolishness. I'm thinking about changing the name and could use your input.

Should I change the name to:

Knitting Knarls
Knitting Knavery
Knitting Knickers
Knitting Knock
Knitting Knots

or keep it as Knitting Kniaisarie


Don't forget to leave a comment on the blog!

Update

I'm sure that you all have been dying to know what's going on with Megan.

She still takes medication which she wishes she could get off.

She hasn't tried any long term projects yet, writing wise.

She's still going to school and taking her Technical Writing and Psychology courses seriously.

The catch on that is they aren't beneficial to her decided major, English.

For some reason, she got the clue that she should try for nursing. What a joke.

So she's hating these classes because they are pointless in her future, even though she's learning a lot.

She's glad she has internet.

She wishes her family would go to her blog and comment there, instead of sending her emails, because that would up her traffic.

And she likes talking about herself in third person.

The End of the Beginning

So I failed at Nanoblomo, but don't curse me for it. You just saved yourself extra stuff up for now.

The diet and exercise is going well, and I would like to say that mostly things are going well, except for this rash. Now, I, more than anyone hate people talking about their weird medical deals, but this rash is all over my body and my face is really red. Passably-for-a-normal-person-red, but still. We think it's the acne meds which did it, but I'm wondering with the diet of milk and chocolate and vitamins, and soy proteins and the excessive exercise... what is up with that?

I shouldn't be complaining, the starving children in Africa, you know. So with that I bid you adieu. m

Random Babblings

The last thing we forget to do after a long, long day of hard work is take a shower, get a cup of tea and relax.

So forget your troubles, your dirty neighbors, and actually, I really really am glad that we got a puppy. Because the problem lies within ourselves, and if we can give willingly out of a pure heart.

Trusting that a younger being than oneself will take seriously the propositions of the adult, we learn that even the best individual achievement is not good as working together.

Hard Cold Truths

I am an idiot. I am dumb, I am stupid, I am retarded, I am mentally insane, I am a fool, I am mentally challenged.

I'm ugly, I'm not fun to be around, I'm angry, I'm not a people-person, I'm antisocial, I'm shy, I'm fired.

These are some of the doubts plauging me, as I plunge through my day. I can't seem to think straight or come up with a line of conversation.

It's all just introspection. Either way, I'm unhappy.

I get where I want to push papers for the rest of my life... just to show them. Who? The man, I guess. I want to do something stupid and not useful. Which is what they want.

To show them the world of hurt they could get into and the world of hurt they are. So I can show them "bad."

So I can show them, that my world is crumbling.

They still want me to take the medication for what I did. I don't even know or could fathem (another one, I'm shallow.) how or what I did.

Anyway, that's my sucky post. Yah, NaBloPoMo. Question of the day (make a comment) : What are the labels you don't like or find stick to you?

The Fat and Thin of It

I basically slept all day and then I woke up and had a shake.

Let me talk about shakes for a second. These are the Slimfast shakes.

My lovely mother thinks that they don't have enough nutritional value, but they say right on the shake that they have like 100 calories and 20 grams of protein and stuff. Now I am taking these to lose weight and I haven't lost that much, maybe two or three pounds. Losing weight is hard, as is exercising three times a week. I can start to feel that I don't have as much energy (meaning I'm burning fat) and there is a looseness in my pants. And it will continue to be difficult to exercise.

The thing is, my body chemistry is working against me. The medication I take, the Zyprexa, is shown to increase weight among people who take it. It is also shown to cause diabetes. Although I don't have that problem yet, I'm looking to the future when it may become a problem through a family history of diabetes. Insulin shots and blood pressure pricks may be in my future.

While this has to do with my crusade against fat, it also has to do with my quality of life and who I am as a person. To the new month-- question of the day: who do I want to be?