Goal #2, Part 3 and Goal #2 1/2

I have been in all my classes and I feel the best thing for me to do is to finish at UTA, my University Studies Degree.  I'm not going to look to the left or the right.  I'll be taking 2 English classes so that will satisfy that desire for English that I have.  I may be taking 5 classes, I may be taking 4. I think I will take four and depending on whether I pass or not one or two classes in the summer.   

If that's even possible with financial aid. 

Then there's all this conflict to finishing with which I have to deal.  There's the question, Does this have a point?  Am I doing this for the greater good?  Will I even be able to handle the course load and all the pressures of class with everything else I and other people put on me?  Will this gift be acceptable to God, of all things to come last.  Will I die...miserable and alone?  An English or Communcations degree may be harder and longer, but I think University Studies degree is very difficult on it's own, spanning several disciplines.  Will I be able to stand seeing the same places and faces for a semester and a month? 

Is there a point to my secretary degree?  Did I learn anything useful?  Yes and no.  I learned a lot about my family and my life, some about other people, a lot about God.  Did I learn anything that could be turned into anything my tiny brain can think of as a job?  Probably not.  Except a secretary. 

Secretary Childcare jobs.  UTA Career Center, we need to have a talk.  A semester long talk.  

I know I know, I made this goal and now I'm going back on my word. 

First things.  This is not my word.  It is just my goal.  If I decide to change it is my prerogative. 

Secondly, right now I'm shooting for 87.5, if I take 8 goals into consideration (don't forget the 2 1/2!)  Times change and people change with it. 

Thirdly, I can look for that special someone while I go to school.  Can I?  I might lose all desire to find him.  Which is scary, but not as scary as the thought that I might be replacing him by getting a degree.  Hard choices.  He's not like someone with which I've cuddled.  You know,  I could find for who I'm really looking.  Is this like breaking up with someone over the internet?  Someone with which you've never held a conversation?  It's poignant that you're looking for someone, but if that someone. 

Ok, I've decided.  I'll do both.  Lol this is exactly how my crazy mind works.  I'll just do both.  And go insane.  or one will win or something, I feel too bad about either to choose. 

So search...actively or passively?  passive aggressively?  I think we've moved beyond those things.  Assertively.