Cloud Depression

A couple of days ago I talked about "Walking depression."  Well, here I'm going to talk about another type of depression that people have that is so dangerous and yet is often found in happy people. 

The kind of depression I'm talking about I call "cloud depression."  It's a type of depression that comes and goes like a cloud and it is not always visible.  It collects the depressed things that happen to us, the depression we feel and it can disappear in an instant, like a cloud.  The reason it is dangerous is because it can come on instantly and strongly, like a snowball that has been slowly rolling down a hill for years, invisibly collecting more and more snow until it hits the bottom and there is no more control of the depression. 

The problem with it is that it can be so well controlled by the owner of the cloud, that it can disappear without a trace, but will be revisited in private moments and thus is a problem because the façade of happiness is there, without the reality of satisfying moments, thus causing a flaky, shallow mirror of joy without becoming ever truly happy. 

Maybe this is everyone.  I don't know.  But it happens to me.  Someone is stealing my joy and I seem happy.  My one hope is that maybe they will die?  I don't know. 

I don't have any coping mechanisms, except the ones exhibited my mom.  Sleep and TV.  Until you die.  I still have dreams.  They aren't as colorful as the ones when I was a kid.  But they are there.