Mental Health and Exercise as a Distraction Tool

Do you ever come to the open page with nothing to say?  I do.  I am coming to the page today with nothing to say.

I wonder if people are doing that thing where they only use one space between sentences.  People don't even respect cesuras, rests, pauses anymore!

I am eating a salad.  One of those bagged salads, I didn't even check what kind it was.  It has sunflowers and this pale gluelike sauce which is sweetish in nature.  It's basically coleslaw without the mayo, if I'm being realistic, but it makes two meals for $1.60, it's healthy and vegetarian.  I've tried the kale salad mix but it got bad too fast, I think.  It's pretty hard to make a lasting mix without a lot of cabbage.

Drinking lime jello, or as people call it, Gatorade.  It is mostly delicious, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm drinking jello, as they taste exactly the same.

My voices are telling me that I'm too far gone.  There's nothing to save.  I don't really know what to think about that. Yes, I hear voices.  They are usually voices of people I know and they don't manifest themselves as audible voices, but more like energy fields that can be distilled into thoughts that I recognize as not my own because they are too negative or coming from a weird direction.  I usually can't hear or read them when I'm busy doing something because my mind is distracted with action.  The best reception is had when I'm lying in bed, astral plane surfing.  I guess the mental energy to do with tasking competes with the mental energy to hear thoughts.  This could revolutionize things for schizophrenics. Do and be saved.  IDK.

Mental Health professionals already tout exercise and hobbies as best buds of a mental patient which can transform lives, even though they have no examples of lives transformed by it and if they do, the patients stability in such a transformation can be called into question.

I personally suck at exercising.  One I have no time, as I work pretty much constantly.  Two, I suck at sports.  My coordination and speed and people skills are terrible.  I don't know what it means to work as a team.  I fluxuate in and out of consciousness, which is mostly a terrible thing for focus and concentration. And when your teammate is unconscious, you're not winning the ball game.  I don't even really try to be good at sports.  Or I try too hard and it's embarrassing.  I don't really know, but I really am bad.  But....Big "but" here.  I love riding bikes.  I haven't ridden any bikes since I was a kid, but I convinced my mom and dad to fix this old bike we had in the garage by doggedly trying to ride it around with a messed up chain.  Convincing my mom and dad about anything was a big deal, especially if it got what we wanted.  My sister had a bike, and I was determined to ride with her.  Ironically I it was red as the scooter I would get years later to get around town in Arlington.

That scooter got basically appropriated and I will always burn with a hatred at the place that took my bike and turned it into spare parts without fixing it or paying me any consolation.  The things you go through as an adult, when no one cares about you.  The scooter was awesome to get around and as I had many good scooter experiences, it's early demise at the hands of the repair shop, gets shoved under the rug. I'd love to talk more about this, but I'd get into sensitive moral issues that I'd rather not discuss because they are fragile.  I know you want to talk about this more. So leave your questions for me in the comments.

So, I want to get a bike.  I think that will motivate me to get exercise in a really healthy my sort of way.  I love walking around town, but it takes a lot of time that I do not have.  I could probably bike to work if I'm up for the challenge, at least to the animal clinic because it's in such a nice area.  I'm really scared though.  My mom got a around town bike and the handlebars never stay up.  Do I get one of the old timey bikes or the speedy ones with the straight handlebars? How much does a good bike cost? I have so many questions.  Plus I have to get my phone fixed, get a haircut, buy virus protection for my computer, probably get a Flexjobs account and buy Microsoft package for my computer before buying a $100-$300 bike.  I have a checklist, if you're wondering.  This stuff is expensive, $30-$100.  I can only get a one big treat each month, considering time constraints and money, but I'm trying to combine the small purchases into one month, if possible, like the haircut and the phone and the virus protection.  I'm so grateful for my jobs. If I didn't have them I wouldn't be able to afford the things I need.

So I've found my golden exercise, I just need the equipment, probably getting it next month.  I'll keep ya'll updated on the psychological experiment. I just hope it makes me calmer and less stressed.  It will suck time wise, but I think leaving thirty minutes early isn't bad and I don't have to stress my mom out by having to drive me there or pick me up.  Independence like that is gold to a mental patient which I still am, taking meds every day, babes.  Trying to get off the lithium, but I know it will be stressful, because getting off the other lithium tablet was and still is stressful.  My body is programmed to have a jolt of creative energy at the end of the day and I don't get it.  I will tell you, my sleeping habits have improved 100% after getting off that medication in the evening.

The voices aren't going away anytime soon, but maybe I can distract them a little!  And biking fits in perfectly with my eco friendly, vegetarian salad consuming lifestyle.  And if you will notice, I always put two spaces between my sentences, so respect the rest!    I came to the page with nothing to say but had a lot to say in between.  I think I won that blog post pageant!  I'd like to thank my readers and Blogger as a platform.  I'd also like to thank my parents for inspiring me to answer that question on what I wanted most in the world!  World peace!