I've been a little depressed lately, Reading some scripture and the word is hard to hear. It applies to my life and the church life. I just feel subhuman in some ways.
I feel like that depression is good for the church and that goes against all my happy go luckiness. The belief that happiness is the greatest good, etc.
But I did have an experience in my life applying the scripture where I felt that I was doing the right thing, even though it was letting down a friend. It's so hard when moral questions come into it.
It's hard because you want to be nice, you want that experience of being with someone who is great, but you have to realize is that God wants pictures of Himself more than anything. (Vain, maybe, He's God, who am I to question?) God is not sneaking off in the middle of the night. He is getting married openly and inviting many people. He is waiting and watching for his bride. He is struggling and fighting to gain ones to make his bride. So he wants us to give the biggest life choice of our lives to Him and make a picture that He can "use as a template" for his wedding day, as we use Him as ours.
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As a Christian who has also suffered with depression (sometimes extreme, sometimes not) I just stand with you. Know that God is continually slandered by the enemy, especially when we feel weakened. God's never against you. He also knows His life is in you to grow & mature, and doesn't expect it to be fully-mature right this minute.
My only tip is to keep contacting Him. Or just call on Him. "O Lord Jesus" is a great prayer (the psalmists were onto this 'calling on the Lord' in a big way, despite not even knowing about Jesus yet).
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