Can't sleep, devil's juice, sleeping til 5 pm three days in a row.

Definitely having problems with my circadian rhythms.  A lot of trouble staying awake in the mornings.  People say you have to have a purpose to get up, and I have vague errands to run and other nonsense, but nothing that screams out "you are needed." 

Drinking the devil's juice.  (Coffee.) But only one cup, but it's after 8pm.  My vitamins and pills taste like they have been sprayed by my mom's perfume.  Makes for yucky swallowing. 

I feel like I want to get interested in others, but only if I have someone to be interested in them with...is this a common thing?  For example, I'd like to get interested in helping my mom, but only if my brother and sister were in on it with me.  Otherwise, forget it, she runs me over in conversation all the time. 

Bored.  I don't know if that's just the general energy in my room, or if it's my personal feelings.  Hard to tell, because I'm the only person who lives in this room. 

I'm afraid to talk about the future, because I think I read a verse that said, only fools tell about their future plans.  Or maybe that's just a saying.  I'm thinking about staying up the night.  I just know that I'll go to bed and not be able to go to sleep because I slept in til 5 pm the past three days. 

What are you guys up to?  Why am I the only person who likes to talk about my life?  Are you people just boring, hidden, secretive fuddie-duddies?  I know I know, you "actually do something with your life" so have to keep it a secret.  I don't understand why I'm the free one though.  I have nothing to talk about and hash and rehash the same topics.  What's keeping you people from telling your stories?  I'm trying to inspire you, here.  No? 

Perfect Weather Day

I had an appointment this morning.  I really need to get off the lithium, but I don't want to move too fast.  I was reading and the internet said that too much lithium, or lithium over a long period of time can cause thyroid and kidney disorders. 

I already take medication for my thyroid, and I don't want anything to happen to my kidneys.  Love them little babies!  I really want to get off of it, but it can change my mood.  I just got the dosage decreased January 2017, so even now to get off some of it may be too soon for a big change. 

I didn't have any problems 2017, except the doctor recommended Extended Release Lithium, so it lasts more or less all day.  My sleeping problems have cleared up since not taking as much lithium and I have been able to function and get to work. 

Not hungry so not eating any lunch today. 

Enjoyed that sin is a person.  And that person is Satan.  Reminded of the verse,

Ephesians 6:12

12 For our wrestling is not against ^1ablood and flesh but against ²the ^brulers, against the authorities, against the ^cworld-rulers of ³this ^ddarkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the ^4eheavenlies.

(Before A Wrinkle in Time!  So want to see that movie. I know it's a Technicolor Rainbow movie, but someone has to watch them.) 

Satan may be a person, but he isn't blood and flesh.  We don't have to attack each other.  You know? 

Not a great morning revival, but it has painted a black background. 

My doctor asked if I drink milk. I do, but not too regularly. Apparently they put a lot of vitamin D in milk.  I have a deficit of Vitamin D. 

Ok, about that perfect weather .... breaking news update! ... It looks cloudy and dark as hell.  Apparently, April has decided to move April Fools to the third of the month. 

It's warm!  Haha!  It's cold!  No...warm again!  Now it's raining!

Actually cleaned things today.  I found no less than 5 dead roaches.  I don't know what's killing them, but keep it up!  Cleaned the toilet, cleaned my room - getting things back to neutral.

Still having vivid fantasies about a world where there is no waste.  I mean a gamification of waste, why not?  Why can't adults play games?

I dream about going to a city council meeting and laying out all the points for waste reduction and the actually plausible methods of doing so, and all the research that proves this is for the benefit of the people, the environment.  but it's doesn't have any root, I don't think.

I haven't attempted my own low waste venture, by creating a compost and but I do have reusable pads, and I did install my own separate recycling bin for my room, so I wouldn't waste recycling by being lazy and throwing it in the trash. 

I could do more.  I could throw dust bin dust outside instead of in the trash.  I could use flushable tissue to blow my nose rather than waste paper tissue.  I could find that place that recycles bottle caps. 

Some stuff is just random though.  I have a plastic liner for one of my bags that came out and I don't know how people would get rid of that.  Maybe a burn pit?  Other countries burn trash...and we have a news article almost everyday saying that the gas released by garbage decomposing is supposed to be a source of energy if it were captured.  Articles like this used to give me hope, now they just infuriate me, because I know it's just in a research stage and hasn't been developed yet.   

Well, I guess it will always be pan on fire ... on my back burner.   I read way too many of those Ranger Rick magazines as a kid.