Sometimes I just scream inside. The thought of unknown gods deciding my fate does that to me. Like I can't choose to go to school, but there's the money issue there and failing 2 classes doesn't help.

I want to write great things. I want to write something. I want to write.

I want to do something. I don't really care.

They want to push me down so I'll stay.

What's a little suicidal behavior among friends? It stops being worth something after the fifth or sixth time. Just Megan, being a little suicidal. I don't want to be like that. I just feel abandoned. Perhaps. I'd rather fall than be pushed down. Falling reminds me of Alice down the rabbit hole and I can always imagine that I'll be in an interesting place when I land.